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I would like you to hear from someone who has had a great influence on me. You could say that he introduced me to Personal Development in a big way. I learnt from him that the best work I could ever do is the work I do on myself.

Enjoy!

Are you totally happy with your life?  It wouldn’t surprise me if your initial response was to ask the question “Is anyone totally happy with their life?”  Fair comment.  So let me rephrase the question.  “Is there any area of your life right now that you are not happy with?”  Is that a better question? 

You may be one of the fortunate ones who can say they are happy in every area of their life.  However, I bet you are like most people in our society, who are probably unhappy with one or more areas of their lives.  If that is the case, let me talk to you about personal development.

I have been involved in the personal development field for over 20 years.  To say that I am passionate about personal development would be an understatement. 

So how did I get started?  When I started to think back I remembered that at school I used to do extra work so that I could improve my maths.  Although I attended a Grammar School, my teachers had written me off as “dunce”.  They pushed me in sport, where I did excel but they were not so encouraging when it came to my academic work.  I am not sure what motivated me but I decided that I wanted to pass my “O” Levels and so spend hours revising and doing extra work off my own back.  It paid off, because I passed all 7 of the O Levels that I took. 

All my teachers and fellow pupils were surprised; I even got a personal comment on my results slip from my headmistress saying well done for passes in all subjects.  I went on to take and pass 2 A levels, I have a teaching degree, diplomas, Level 4 NVQs and just to let you know I continue to study now.  I don’t tell you this to impress you but to demonstrate that at least in this area of my life I am committed to constantly improving myself.

Before I move on it may be useful to offer a definition of personal development.  I decided to do some research on the internet and googled the term “personal development”.  I came across the following definition on www.danieljanssen.com:

“Personal development is the deliberate growth or development of a particular individual to bring out their potential and capabilities making them more aware of their inner feelings, belief systems to become a more conscious, whole or healthy human being”. 

I know that probably seems like a mouthful but it seemed to encompass my own thoughts about what personal development is.  I decided to ask my partner to offer a definition:

“Strategies that enable me to enhance my life in all areas”

Now I do like this definition because it says what it is, simply and succinctly.  The thing about personal development is that it means different things to different people.  When someone embarks on the journey of personal development, it maybe, that they have chosen to improve their health, relationships, career prospects, finances etc.   Sometime people talk about the mind, body and spirit, or physical, emotional and spiritual.

If you identified an area of your life that you are not happy with, do you want to change it?   You see there are many people out there who are not happy with their lives but do not want to do anything about changing their situation.  You see many people believe that this is normal.   Why?  Because everyone else they come in contact with feels exactly the same.  How often do you greet someone and ask the question “How are you?”  It is not uncommon for people to say “okay” and then follow up with “ Well, actually …” and then carry on to talk about something bad that has happened to them.  I know people who try to avoid asking the how are you question,  just so that they do not get engaged in hearing people’s woes.  Of course you have never done that.

If you are wondering where personal development is likely to take you then the answer is wherever you want to go.  You see one of the most important steps in personal development is setting goals.  Personal development is about taking a journey, which implies that you must have a destination.  Goal setting is not unique to personal development, because the reality is that we all set goals all the time, it is just that we do it on an unconscious level.  If you have a job, you will set goals on a daily basis to ensure you get to work on time, you complete tasks etc. 

I believe the starting point for personal development is to give ourselves permission to dream again.  To stop where we are, look to the future and decide where we want to be, who we want to be, what we want to have in the next 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years and even 10 years.  Look this does not mean looking out to the future and living there and neglecting the present.  It means taking a glance at what your future could look like and then creating a plan, a road map in the present that will take you there.  However, if you have stuff in your life right now that you don’t want, you  must look back at the past and understand exactly what you did to bring you to this point and then change what you were doing to ensure a different outcome.  If you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you always got.  Be open to the possibility of change and anything can happen.

There is so much out there now about personal development that it is difficult to know where to start.

Here are my top 10 tips to get you started on your journey of personal development

1.  Take time everyday to do something for yourself.  This is so fundamental.  Many people go through their day giving of themselves to other people, their job etc and don’t have time for themselves.  Even if you give yourself 15 minutes, that is time with yourself to reflect an d focus on the most important person in your life, YOU.

2.  Read or listen to personal development material.  You must find time to learn about personal development to read or listen to positive and inspirational messages.  You could use the 15 minutes put by for yourself to read a chapter of a book.  If you drive, put in a tape or cd, this is making use of net (no extra time) time.

3.  Decide what you really want to do and do it.  Often we think about what we want to do and make excuses as to why we can’t do it.  The reality is that the time we have taken to think up excuses as to why we can’t do something, we could have done it.  What have you been putting off doing?  Take this opportunity to do it, clear out the clutter.  Once you have done it there is space in your mind to think about other things.

 4.  Do not be afraid of making a mistake.  You will only achieve success from doing.  In history many brilliant ideas have come about because of a mistake.  Don’t let fear of failure stop you from doing what you want.

 5.  Keep a journal recording your thoughts, ideas, feelings and personal growth.  Keeping a journal is a great way of measuring your progress. Looking back at your journey.  It is also a great source of material for any projects you hope to do in the future.  If one of your dreams is to write a book, why not start with jotting down ideas in a journal. 

 6.  Visualise your goals on a daily basis.  Better still put up pictures of your goals so that you can see them on waking up and going to bed.  Our minds respond better to pictures than words.

 7. Celebrate your achievements.  Award yourself for any progress that you make because you deserve it.

When was the last time you really enjoyed Christmas?  Look the truth is that there are some people who each year do not enjoy Christmas.  Even if you are not one of these people, I bet you know someone.  Maybe it is that they do not enjoy the commercialism, or they complain about not having enough money, or maybe it is the worry about debts, they still have not paid off last years Christmas debts.  For some it is the thought of having to be with family and friends they do not particularly like or they have painful memories of loss.  I am going to admit to being one of those people who used to dread Christmas for all the reasons I have mentioned.  Notice I said “used to”, I now I love Christmas.  I want to share 5 things I have done over the past few years that has enabled me to enjoy Christmas. 

Decide that you will enjoy Christmas no matter what.  Be in the present.  Don’t think about what has happened in the past and what will happen in the future. Be in the here and now.

1. Have an attitude of gratitude.  What are you grateful for in your life?  This is a time to celebrate that.  I focus on what I have.  This is a gift I give myself.
2. Give of yourself.  You don’t need money to be able to give.  Be generous with yourself.  Give your love, give your time.  When I stop focusing on what I have not got, I am more able to focus on others and what I can give.
3. Create special moments with those you care about.  I have started a tradition in my family called the “12 days of Christmas”.  For the 12 days of Christmas my partner opens a gift on each day – I always include moments e.g. A day out, cooking a meal, giving a massage, something fun.  I have lots of fun making 12 cards each with a special verse.  I can’t wait for the next morning when she opens yet another card and receives yet another surprise.  I love those special moments.
4. Stay within your budget.  Have fun thinking about what you can buy or create.  When I stopped worrying about not having enough money and focused on ways of using my talents, I started to have fun.  It also meant that after Christmas I wasn’t then worrying about how I was going to pay off my debts.

My experience of Christmas changed when I changed the way I was thinking.  I stopped focusing on what I did not have or did not want and focused on having positive feelings.  I then took action and it was through taking specific action that then started to create changes.  Whilst Christmas happens once a year, life is ongoing.  These are strategies that can be applied to your daily life too.